many times in my adult life I have wanted to disappear. these are not suicide thoughts, just literally disappear to somewhere else in the world. I would like to shed myself of all my responsibilities as they are choking me.
my responsibilities are choking me right now.
as I write this, I keep thinking why can't I just sleep. Oh yeah, my head doesn't stop.
thinking.
ruminating.
I wish it would stop.
tomorrow is going to come, in just a few hours.
those waking hours when everyone else thinks they need me. and I can't ignore them or shut them off. babies need their mama. It isn't her fault other people think they need me.
I know that if I disappeared, I wouldn't have her and I would miss her. miss her so much.
